Are you “winning a ballgame’ or “going to the dentist” when negotiating?

Through working with my clients and helping them make some changes in their professional life to achieve their goals, I have noticed that asking for an executive role, more money, more resources, flexibility in working time, … is harder for women than for men.

The reasons are multiple: not at ease with what they see as a confrontation, fear of being disliked, not knowing how much to ask, not being sure that they deserve it. And I am sure this applies to some men too. During our sessions, we discuss about what they want and why, what the alternatives are, what the benefit for the other party would be, and we do some negotiation practice.

I came across this very pragmatic article from HBR https://hbr.org/2018/08/how-women-can-get-what-they-want-in-a-negotiation (kudo to my colleague Kylie Holyland who drew my attention to it) which, amongst five strategies to engage and perform more effectively in negotiations, highlights the concept of negotiating communally. As a Chinese colleague once told me, when negotiating a contract, you need to make sure that both parties are happy and feel respected.

So, let’s embrace negotiation as a way to make change happen for the good of the community and not only for our own good.